Teaching kids to self-serve
Last month, I started a series on how to teach your children to be independent. We talked about developing a morning routine that your children can get through independently, or any routine for that matter. In this article, I will be discussing how to encourage self-service.
If you are wondering if this post is for you, answer the questions below with a yes OR no.
- Do you find your child calling out to you at the drop of a hat?
- Do you find yourself doing simple tasks for your child?
- Are you tired at the end of the day because you have had no rest?
You need to hear this message if you have answered yes to any. TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO SERVE THEMSELVES.
What does it mean to self-serve?
Self-serve means that your child is capable of serving him or herself with their fundamental necessities. It means that they need to complete tasks independently and help themselves as long as they are capable of it.
As moms and, very specifically, stay-at-home moms, we feel the need to surrender our purpose to serve our families to the ends of the earth. But let’s set this straight – that is not what we are called to do. We are called to serve. Period. Serving does not mean doing everything on our own or doing everything for everyone else. There are many ways to serve our family, and one of them is to teach our children lots of life skills. It is the best thing you can do for them – to teach them to be self-reliant, independent, self-supported, and autonomous beings. It will do them a world of good as they face the world ahead.
How do I teach them to self-serve?
There are two areas in which they can serve themselves – Personal and Serving Others. I will discuss each one below in more depth.
Personal
Children can care for themselves at a very young age, starting with their basic needs, so why not let them do it themselves? Here are a few things you can teach them to do for themselves.
- Pick and change their clothes.
- Grab their cup of water.
- put away toys after playing
- put away books after reading
- make their beds
- put on shoes/jacket by themselves when heading out
- Keep their rooms tidy
- wash their hands after a meal, or clean up if they are messy
These seem simple, yet some kids are not doing it themselves because we do it for them. These little things are enough to relieve you and give you back energy where you need it most.
My kids have been picking and changing their clothes since they were 2. My oldest probably started even younger. The trick is to make their clothes accessible to them in their closet. I store my kid’s clothes in little bins by category. I use one container for pants, one for t-shirts, another for socks, etc. This system allows them to grab what they need if they soil their clothes during the day.
When it comes to laundry, I fold my oldest child’s clothes and place them into a laundry basket after wash day, and she puts them away. We have been doing this for a year now. She also cleans up her closet if it starts to get messy. Keep in mind that she is still a kid, so there are times that I will go in and make sure it is neat. The goal is not to avoid doing it all together but to introduce the habit of caring for their needs. If you read my previous article, you will know that making beds is part of the morning routine in our household. Despite that, I will still straighten out the kid’s beds at times because the ability to make their beds perfectly is far from now.
This same kid has been taking showers by herself since last summer; trust me, I love the one less shower I need to give.
Serving others by serving themselves
There is such a thing as serving others by serving oneself. Here are a few examples of this, and you can try them at home with your children.
- Teach them to clean up the bathroom after using it (I’ll talk about this some more)
- Put away dirty clothes in the hamper
- put away their plates after a meal
- spread jelly on a toast
- clean up simple spills
- grab their own plates, glasses, spoons, etc
If you wonder what I mean by cleaning up the bathroom, I can assure you that I am not asking the kids to scrub any part of it. After they brush their teeth or shower, I expect they wipe any water from the sink or the floor, close shower curtains, switch off lights and close doors, etc. These are certainly doable. I also expect them to close the toothpaste and put it back in the cup where it belongs. These don’t come easy to our kids, and it is still a constant reminder to them to do it. But trust me, mom and dad, they will pick it up eventually.
How can we enable them?
For our kids to be involved in the home, whether through serving themselves, serving others, or doing chores, we need to equip them with the means to do it independently.
Eva Verghese, Mom blogger
#1 Designate
Mark off places in your home that are designated for certain things. For example, I have a fixed spot in the kitchen to store kids’ glasses and plates. Thes are placed at a lower level to be accessible to all. I also keep snacks in one spot and make them available at their level so that come 3 pm, they can serve themselves whatever they need without my assistance. The refrigerator has a drawer with easily accessible smoothies, yogurt, cheese sticks, and other things I allow them to serve themselves for breakfast or snacks.
#2 Appreciate
How often do we feel unappreciated for everything we do around the house? Let’s not pass that forward but teach our children to appreciate others by appreciating them. When they do something without being told, and make a big deal about it. Tell grandma about this worthy thing they did to make your life easier. Show them some extra love for taking the time to help around or assist themselves. Boast about them to the rest of the kids. Help them feel proud for taking the time to be a help at home.
#3 Incentivize
Some kids thrive on incentives. I know this because I have one such kid at home. Offer an incentive for things that don’t come easily to your kids, such as allowing them to pick the TV show during TV time, reward them with a bit of candy or if you have a reward system with them, use it to give them bonus points.
I will warn you, though – be careful not to incentivize everything. Especially things that they need to do naturally. An incentive in that situation will not teach them to do it out of responsibility but out of a need for a reward, and the likelihood of it sticking as a habit may be small.
FINAL THOUGHTS
It is possible to get some reprieve from the long days and nights. It starts with making a plan, being consistent, and following through. I hope you found this article helpful, and if you did, make sure to subscribe to my emails. You will recieve all new articles directly in your inbox within 24 hours of posting.
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