Alright, moms and dads, this is not a new topic. I have spoken about parenting anger and let’s face it, we are humans and are subject to emotions on impulse. This is true in every aspect of our lives. Have you ever been to a drive-through, and received a wrong order or missed item? You are now far from where you bought the food, and you are outraged. This is a normal human reaction. How about when you call customer service, and they do not fix the problem you called in for?. You then get upset, you speak sternly, request to speak to a higher authority. But at no point in these two situations do we feel remorseful about our emotional outbursts.
I took the kids out to play the other day. It was quite chill and the kids wanted to plant a so-called ‘seed’, they found and water it. After explaining to them that it was not a seed and that we would not be watering them, they snuck in the house, filled some water, and brought it out to water that poor thing they thought to be a seed. I did not notice until later, and let it slide. We were heading back in because my 20-month-old was throwing a tantrum. As we opened the door to walk inside, I saw a huge puddle of water all over the laundry room that required immediate moping in order for the kids to get in. I was so mad and completely lost it with my kids. After feeling remorse and guilt, an hour later, I apologized and explained to them why I was so furious at that moment.
Why do we feel so guilty about our outbursts towards our kids? This is because we are a generation of aware and intentional parents. We have a greater understanding of emotional and behavioral influences on our kids. We are also more equipped with information on what impacts our children and we are more conscious of how our kids will perceive our outbursts and apply them to their own behavior. Our kids do deserve the best and we all mean well no matter how we respond to them.
The big question is – can we tame these outbursts of anger? And the answer is yes. It does require a great deal of intentionality though. I have found that the moment that I am aware things could get ugly, I pause and get away from there. We need to hold our thoughts, take a time out, take a deep breath, have another grown-up take over, take a walk, do whatever it takes to give ourselves some time to take control over our emotions. I know that sometimes it is not possible to do any of these things. In such situations, take a few deep breaths, resort to silence, and respond when you feel ready. Intentional parenting takes a great deal of effort but when you are conscious of your behavior, it also helps you become a better person overall.
None of this would be possible without a very important tool I call quiet time. I have found that I am able to have more control and grace in my parenting when I pray often. I am reminded of a verse from Psalm 145:8 – “The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.” The Bible is full of wisdom and instruction for us to fall back on. What a verse this is. I hope you feel encouraged by it.
May this article be beneficial in your own parenting, and I hope that you know you are not alone in these struggles.
This was really good. Many parents and people in general do not think they can take their anger. However it can be done. Thr Bible does say be angry but sin not. Also speaks on the tongue and how hard it is to tame, but like you did it can be done. Good read, thanks.
You are absolutely right.