I’m a goal-setter at heart, and I genuinely love New Year’s resolutions. I make them every year even if I don’t end up checking every single one off. My kids do them too. A few years ago, I even created a simple goal-setting template for them, and it’s become one of our favorite little January traditions.
I still remember the year my oldest decided her 2½-year-old brother should set New Year’s goals too. She sat him down, asked him a series of yes-or-no questions, and proudly wrote down his “goals” for him. He had no idea what he had signed up for, but she did, and that moment stuck with me. Sometimes starting young is less about perfect follow through and more about planting the seed. You’re teaching them that it’s normal to dream, to set intentions, and to strive toward something better.
Notice that word: strive.
We celebrate people who achieve their goals, but we should also celebrate those who put in the effort. So many people make New Year’s resolutions and forget about them by February, when life returns to normal. However, there are many who take small steps, knowing they may not achieve the desired outcomes. Last year, I had a goal to lose weight and get healthy. While I did not lose the weight, I went on a journey to better understand my health issues and learned what I needed to gain good health.
The effort matters. You can set big goals yet take small steps as long as you are moving in the direction of something that matters to you.
Now, let’s talk about why many give up their goals faster than they write them down.
Here are three of the biggest reasons.
1. The rewards don’t feel real
In the corporate world, goals come with very clear rewards. You hit your targets, and it affects your bonus, your raise, and sometimes a likely promotion. There is something tangible at the end.
Personal goals don’t usually come with a paycheck. You don’t get handed a check for losing 20 pounds, sticking to a workout routine, or finishing 50 books. And because the reward feels invisible, it’s easier to lose motivation.
However, the truth is that personal goals offer us something even more valuable: a sense of accomplishment and the joy of fulfillment that shapes our personality, enhances our abilities, builds confidence, teaches us perseverance, and ultimately leads to success.
You may not get paid for becoming healthy, but you learn to live a life of good habits and possibly end up with fewer doctor visits. You may not get paid for reading 50 books, but you expand your knowledge and experience new worlds. Those rewards shape who you are, and that matters more than we realize.
2. Our goals are too big (or too many)
Another reason we quit is that we set goals that are overwhelming.
We often put huge, multi-year dreams on a one-year list: paying off major debt, moving across the country, starting a business, writing a book. These are beautiful goals, but they require time, planning, and smaller steps.
Instead of saying “I’m going to write a book this year,” what if the goal was “I’m going to write for 20 minutes three times a week”? Big dreams become doable when we break them into small, achievable actions.
And then there are the multi-goal setters, the ones who want to do everything: read 40 books, learn a language, start a hobby, travel more, exercise daily, wake up early, cook more, and reorganize the house. A year feels long, but it fills up quickly.
Try choosing just two or three priorities for the year. You can still dream about the rest—but without attaching pressure to them. That way, if you don’t get to everything, you haven’t “failed.” You simply focused.
3. We don’t know WHY we want them
This one is huge.
So many goals are written down with no real reason behind them.
“I want to read 20 books.”
“I want to work out more.”
“I want to start something new.”
But why?
Your goals need a purpose attached to them:
- You want to write a book because it’s a lifelong dream
- You want to start a business for freedom, creativity, or financial security.
- You want to exercise so you can feel strong, manage your health, and show up for your family.
- You want to read because it gives you space to think, grow, and breathe.
When the “why” is clear, motivation lasts longer. Without it, it’s easy to walk away.
A simple way to set better goals
I recently started to read a book called The 12-Week Year. I like the concept as it reframes a year into focused 12-week cycles, replacing vague yearly goals with clear priorities, disciplined weekly accountability, and measurable progress. This is another great way to set goals. Try reading this book and see if it helps you think about goal setting differently.
And as you set or revisit your goals this year, try this:
- Break the year into months or quarters.
- Look honestly at how much time and energy you have already committed.
- Choose a few goals that are truly workable.
- And most importantly, know why it matters to you.
We don’t have to be perfect. We just have to keep striving. And sometimes, that’s where the real growth happens. As Thomas Edison once said, “If we all did the things we are really capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.”
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