We oftentimes think of our role in parenting as a one-way street. We assume we know better, so we advise, counsel, guide, and instruct our children. One day, my 6.5-year old called me out and held me accountable for something I said. In all honesty, as much as I hated being wrong, I loved that my kid was right because it reinforced to me that no matter how hard you are on your parenting, your kids will show up in unexpected ways and surprise you with the values you’ve taught them.
Let me give you some background. We all have words in our vocabulary that we can avoid, especially around impressionable children. In my case, my words are very innocent; for one, I use the word ‘silly’ – A LOT – such as silly me, silly toy, silly TV show, silly old bear from Winnie the Pooh, (which is where I think I picked it up). Two, I holler at my kids for their attention, saying, ‘Hey Hey,.’ Three, I tend to say that ‘I will throw your toys out if you can’t keep them neat,’ or ‘I will have to throw those stickers away if you can’t use them correctly’ – the word here is ‘throw.’
Sounds pretty innocent right? Not until your 3.5-year old starts using them on his siblings. He started to call his sister silly names and would threaten to throw her stuff away. You can imagine the fights these two have because of it. Another time, my 2-year old called me ‘Hey Hey,’ and it sounded utterly disrespectful. If these simple words seem unacceptable when I hear them, I know that I need to intentionally change what I say and let my kids know of it.
Consequently, I had a talk with my kids and admitted that I should not be using these words and that we were all going to stop. But I found myself standing in the kitchen one day using the ‘throw’ word, and my 6.5-year-old turned around and asked me to refrain from it. Every time I say silly, I can see my kid looking at me and saying, ‘Mommy, you just said the word’.
The bottom line is – don’t be afraid to admit your mistakes to your kid, and allow them to be your accountability buddy. It makes for excellent teamwork in the journey of parenting, and when we pay heed to what our kids tell us, we hope that they will reciprocate the same with us.
