I wanted to write a post about marriage today because it is our 15th wedding anniversary. Nothing mushy here but a picture of reality, the same kind of marriage we all live except for the parts we don\’t talk about. No one ever said marriage was easy. I\’d like to compare it to the ebbs and flows of the ocean. There are moments of stillness with gentle breezes and yet roughness in storms. But if the foundation is strong, no storm, no rough wave, can topple the walls. You ask – what is the foundation of a strong marriage? It\’s simple – it is unwavering loyalty, indefinite love, undeterred commitment, and the presence of God. Everything else is peripheral. These foundations do not come easy. You need to work on it every day when times are tough and not just when times are easy.
I love the chapter on Love in 1 Corinthians 13 – “Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hope, always perseveres.” If you are ever looking for a definition of love, this is it. It is also the hardest one to live by. We were never meant to be perfect, but in knowing Christ, we strive to live by his word and apply this to those we love.
My husband and I celebrate 15 years of marriage today, and we made it here because we chose to get past our greatest fights. We made it to 15 because we found a way out of it no matter our differences. We made it to 15 because family matters, and love trumps over all other disruptions. We are not the perfect couple – we fight, disagree, and do not always make amends. But we complement each other in ways only God could have designed this reunion. Marriage is not about living the perfect life. It is about having someone to lean on, share your life with, make memories with, raise children with, vacation with, and marvel at the beauty of the world – all of it through joy and sadness. To live this life, we need to work at it just as we do in parenting.
For those reading this, I hope to leave with you a perspective about marriage. That marriage is about being intentional every day; that it is a matter-of-effort and not a matter-of-expectation; that it is a choice you make to be content; that it is a life you live that has valleys and hills; that it is a willingness to accept the imperfect that makes your marriage perfect.
So on my 15th Wedding Anniversary, I dedicate this blog to my husband, whose patience astounds me in times of my imperfections. I’m blessed to have made it here because of grace and will raise a glass to the rest of our lives together – no matter what comes our way.
