Motherhood is undeniably a beautiful journey, but it’s all too easy to find ourselves overprioritizing it, often at the expense of everything else in our lives. This struggle is real, and it’s a sacrifice we make for the good of others, not necessarily for our own good. While it may seem acceptable to make these sacrifices, they can be detrimental to our long-term happiness and satisfaction. This is a challenge that all mothers, whether they work outside the home or not, can relate to.
So what are those things we are deprioritizing, and how can we make it right? I have five for you, and am sure there are many more we can add to this list.. What else will you add?
#1 HEALTH
The first thing that takes a backseat is our mental and physical health. In pouring into our children and their ongoing need for emotional support, we forget to heed our emotional needs. It’s crucial to take time to recharge our emotional batteries. Fill your cup with happiness and peace, and find ways to destress the overwhelm and worries in your life. Remember, you can pour into your child’s empty cup only when your cup is full.
Make time to stay active, schedule your annual dental checkups, visit the doctor when you feel a nagging pain, and cut short bedtime with kids if you don’t feel like making it through all the nighttime routines. Some easy ways to squeeze in some activity is to walk while the kids play in the park, have your kids join in on some exercise videos, have a dance party and shake off some of those calories.
#2 MATERIAL NEEDS
Moms often feel guilty about buying things for themselves, even when they’re necessary. If you buy shoes once every several years, why skimp on it? We make financial sacrifices so we can better provide for the rest of the family. I have rarely heard of a mom splurging on herself despite her limited desires. I am guilty of it and often must remind myself that my need is greater than the sacrifice. It’s important to remember that taking care of your own needs is not selfish, it’s necessary for your well-being. While it is admirable to put children’s needs first, it is equally important to maintain a healthy balance. Moms need to find ways to fulfill their own material needs while still meeting the needs of their families.
I am guilty of shopping for clothes on Amazon and Costco just to keep costs low and save time from an extravagant shopping spree. While nothing is wrong with this, sometimes you need a good pair of clothes that will not fade in three washes. Break out of this cycle and prioritize your needs just as you do for the rest of your family.
#3 FRIENDSHIP
I often see moms on Facebook groups searching for friends in the same phase of life as they are. We all yearn for friendship as it’s crucial for our emotional well-being, but when we overprioritize motherhood, we neglect it. The demands of parenting can limit the time and energy available for social interactions, leaving us feeling isolated and disconnected. I’ve been guilty of this myself. When I moved to Maryland, I moved closer to many people from my past life, and I have rarely made time to meet up and rekindle those relationships. Just make it happen, Mom. Start with once a month and see how a little friendship can change your life significantly.
#4 HOBBIES
Overprioritizing motherhood often means sacrificing our interests. When did you last pursue a hobby or read a book just for fun? When we do something we love, our sense of purpose is heightened. It is a great way to bring joy and happiness into our lives. The absence of pursuing personal interests can lead to feelings of lost identity and individuality. An easy way to do this is to have a dedicated time in your home for everyone to do what they love (including you). Just make sure to join in with the others. Your children will likely be inspired to try out and pursue new hobbies, too.
#5 TIME WITH SPOUSE
This one should be at the top of this list because our spouses are the most important beings in our lives. One day, our children will fly away into a new world, leaving us behind with the person we started this very family with. Don’t wait for that day to reconnect and rekindle what you both enjoyed doing together. Make date nights a priority. They don’t always have to be at a restaurant. You can watch a movie at home, get the kids to bed early one day a week, or, if lucky, have a sitter to watch while you attempt an outdoorsy date night.
An Instagram influencer recently shared a great tip for making time with your spouse – 10 min tea time. It does not have to be tea, but let it be a dedicated time in the day for you and your spouse to sit together, share an update of their day, and connect personally. A couple of years ago, my husband and I knew we needed to pray together more, so we started to do a 5-minute morning prayer where we chose no more than 3-5 things to pray over that needed God’s attention that day. Get creative and find ways to dedicate one on one time to each other. This could look different for each of us.
I can speak for myself when I say that I have under-prioritized this part of my life and need a reset. Remember that neglecting the marriage relationship can strain communication, intimacy, and overall satisfaction. It is vital for moms to prioritize quality time with their spouses and find ways to balance the demands of parenting while still nurturing their relationship.
Conclusion
It is possible to shift the focus and create a balance as long as you know that taking care of yourself should be part of your life. So start today and think about what areas of your life you are underprioritizing and how you can shift your mindset to also cater to your own needs. Remember, your well-being is just as important as your children’s, and by taking care of yourself, you’re also taking care of them. This is a journey that all mothers, regardless of their circumstances, can embark on.
What are you deprioritizing in your life? Leave a comment below.
